sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
