the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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