She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
