Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
