my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
