don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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