when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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