You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
