I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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