She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
