Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
