They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
being pregnant is like rehab
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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