i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
