Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
