i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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