yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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