The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
