let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
