Cold hands, warm shart.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
