you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
