if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
