NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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