What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
