How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
