I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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