i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
