paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
