It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
