fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
