Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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