so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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