I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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