make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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