We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
