when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
