Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I need help removing her.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
