Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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