fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
