So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
