Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need a burrito and a hug.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
