K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
