We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
