Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Someone signed my nipple.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
