I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
