we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
