I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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