I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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