I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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