Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she pinky promised me she was 18
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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