dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
