i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
