i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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