The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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